Golf Explained - Etiquette of Golf in 13 Easy Steps
April 3, 2008
Your very own “beginner golf tip girl” the Golf Virgin, felt that it was time to help out with some common sense driven golf course etiquette. She has recently been appalled at stunningly stupid behavior from “people” who should know better.
Here is a nice, quick and easy chart… < - - loves charts, for all of you to fold up in your pocket and carry with you onto the green. You’ve now been forewarned. Learn this simple, etiquette of golf and be saved the misery of wide open mouths staring at you in disbelief. See below - golf explained.
| 1. Arrive at your scheduled tee off time. |
| 2. Be sure to be patient and respect other players on the course as you wish to be respected and don’t make any loud noise. Normal speaking or conversation is ok but hooting and hollering at your buddies isn’t. |
| 3. Check your marker and your ball number in order to avoid confusion during the game. |
| 4. Do not take practice swings on the tee off zone. |
| 5. For the sake of common sense, do not stand close behind, near or in front of any other player and be as quiet as possible when a player is about to take a shot. |
| 6. Normally, the player with the lowest handicap starts the game by taking their first shot. On all other tees the player with the best score out of the previous hole has “the honor”, meaning he has the right to play (with) his ball first. |
| 7. Always be prepared to play your ball in order to avoid any delay in the game and leave immediately after you’ve made your shot. (Sounds like most men doesn’t it?) |
| 8. Don’t play your stroke if other players intend to do their puts on any green in the neighborhood. |
| 9. Don’t take a shot in the direction of another player that may be in hitting distance. See the post why we yell fore in golf for more info. |
| 10. Be kind, nothing will piss off a Superintendent more than not replacing divots or fixing any other damage you cause to the course. And make sure to rake those bunkers back into perfect condition! |
| 11. To avoid looking like someone of lesser intelligence, don’t drive your cart over tee off areas, greens or through a sand bunker. Also, before putting be sure to leave your cart somewhere beside the green, preferably in an area beside the next tee off zone. |
| 12. Try to stand somewhere beside the player who has to do the next shot. |
| 13. If possible, try to observe not only your own but also the balls of the other players in your company. This will help to save time in case one of your partners may not be able to find his ball immediately after his shot. |
I could go on and on and on, especially after some of the absolutely, thoughtless behaviors I’ve witnessed in my time. So now y’all know some quick and easy ways not to look like “fantard” swaggering around, looking for a beating. Use this etiquette of golf and if you don’t hey… don’t be surprised if someone takes their club to your head. Happy strokes!!
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Stretches for Golfers
March 20, 2008
Hi Golf Virgin, do you know of a good golf stretch to help my golf muscles not be so sore after just a few rounds? - Jeremiah in Santa Fe, NM
You’re not asking if there are stretches for golfers because you’re having difficulty holding your shaft with proper form are you? Awww you poor thing… are your golf muscles just cramping up at the worst time possible? Many virgins have had this experience. Jeremiah, I will do my duty and help to alleviate your misery. Read on and I’ll show you a few good ways to get that perfect golf stretch.
For those of you who are not familiar with this sport, believe it or not, there is such a thing as golf muscles. When you take a swing, it uses every major muscle in your body. These golf muscles are absolutely necessary for providing the club head speed that is delivered to the ball at impact. The level of your flexibility and strength is the determining factor in how far you can really hit your drives. I have listed 4 quick stretches for golfers below.
Side Bends
1. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and arms at your side
2. Bend to the right keeping your hips facing forward and letting your right arm slide down the outside of your thigh until a stretch is felt along the left side of your torso
3. Hold each stretch for a count of 10
4. Repeat 3 times
5. Reverse arm positions bending to the left and complete steps 1-4 above
Quadriceps Stretch
1. Stand with one arm holding onto a wall or your golf partner
2. With the other hand grasp your ankle and pull your foot behind you toward your buttocks
3. Feel a stretch in the front of your thigh
4. Hold for a count of 10
5. Repeat 3 times on each leg
Hamstring Stretch
1. Sit with your right leg out in front and your left leg bent so your left foot touches your right knee
2. Reach down your right leg until you feel a stretch in the back of your thigh
3. Hold for 10 seconds
4. Repeat times 3
5. Repeat steps 1-4 with your left leg out in front
Trunk Rotation
1. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart
2. Bend your arms at your elbows grasping the golf club behind your head
3. Twist your upper body toward the right keeping your hips facing forward
4. Hold for a count of 10
5. Twist your body toward the left and hold
6. Repeat each stretch 3 times
Training your golf muscles with these particular stretches for golfers enables you to develop the power needed to achieve a great swing. Remember, this is a highly dynamic sport that requires balance, coordination, stability and body awareness. You can’t get this just by training on machines alone. If you really do put the time and effort in stretching before you play, you will be surprised and amazed with how quickly your game improves. Happy strokes!!
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Golf Side Bets and Wager Betting
March 18, 2008
Hey Golf Virgin what are some golf side bets or wager betting that me and a few buddies can try out? - Matthew in Phoenix, AZ
Wow, so you’re a betting man and take charge with your equipment when it matters huh? Well the Golf Virgin has something special for you. Take a look.
Some great golf side bets along with wager betting is a great way to kill some time and possibly make… but more than likely lose a few bucks. I’ll give a list of the top few such as Foozle, Barkies and Aces and Deuces.
1. First off is foozle. To play this, you will need 6 game coins, 2 positive and 4 negative along with a carrying pouch. Start by setting the compensation value for the coins with your partners before the start of play. As each positive or negative shot occurs, that player receives the appropriate coin. At anytime thereafter, should the act be repeated by another player, that coin is “passed on” with the appropriate flair. At the end of the round or turn, the players holding the negative coins compensate the other players. And the players holding the positive coins receive compensation from the other players.
2. Barkies, are paid automatically to any player who makes par on a hole on which him or her hit a tree. The value of a Barkie is determined before the round.
3. Aces and Deuces or Acey Ducey, is a bet in which there is a winner, two modest losers, and one big loser on each hole. It’s a game for groups of four, obviously. The low scorer on each hole wins a certain amount from each of the other three players; while the high scorer on each holes owes each of the other three.
So Mr. Betting Man there you have it, 3 easy ways of wager betting to burn through some hard earned cash. Hopefully for you lady luck will come for a visit and pour her good graces all over your shaft so you can stroke yourself into a frenzied bliss.
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What is Effective Playing Length?
March 14, 2008
I don’t quite understand what effective playing length is but I would really like to know. Please help me with this. Thank you Golf Virgin. - Tommy in Virginia Beach, VA
Effective playing length can lead to much confusion, especially for virgins due to the fact some may think this might possibly correspond to the length of their golf shaft.
The USGA determines the values representing effective playing length by making adjustments to the measured yardage, instead of just by going out and reviewing the overall yardage of a course and each hole. This means that the yardage is then adjusted for the terrain of the entire course. Going uphill adds yards while going downhill subtracts yards.
So for example the slope of a fairway and the positioning of bunkers combined with forced carries and forced layups and don’t forget the positioning of trees are all taken into consideration when determining effective playing length.
Also, effective playing length is one of the determining factors in the evaluation of golf courses for Course Rating and Slope Rating.
No worries Tommy, everything is under control. The USGA has you covered and you have nothing to fear. Effective playing length is something that truly helps you play your best and puts you on par with everyone else. Happy Strokes!!
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When is a Conceded Putt Allowed?
March 11, 2008
Hi when is a conceded putt allowed during a game? Thanks! - Miller in Sioux City, IA
Miller, great question. Provided that all parties are relatively sober during a game, a conceded putt is one that your opponent has told you that you don’t have take because he has conceded that you will make the shot.
For example let’s say you have an easy putt. If your opponent thinks there is no chance you’ll miss, he might concede the putt, allowing you to pick it up. Your score will be the same as if you had actually putted the ball into the hole.
Conceded putts are legal only in match play but they are illegal in stroke play. And conceded putts are purely at the discretion of your opponent and vice versa. They should only be offered, not requested. But what if your buddy being the swell guy that he is tells you not to worry about a putt because he knows that more than likely, you will hit it into the hole. Instead, you decide to show him how stubborn you really are and whack away at it, missing the putt.
According to the rules, a concession may not be declined or withdrawn. Once an opponent allows for you to take a conceded putt, it doesn’t matter what the player does afterward. Remember that the next time you are feeling a little bit generous. You never know if they really might miss.
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Blind Bogey
March 10, 2008
What is blind bogey and how do you play it? - Ethan in Somerset, KY
The most common game of blind bogey requires a golfer to play 18 holes of stroke play. Following completion of blind bogey golf, the one overseeing the tournament selects a score at random and the player that has the closest score to the randomly selected score is the winner.
There is also another variation to the blind bogey format. This is where the players tee off and complete their rounds. After the tournament, the director randomly select six holes and each of the players scores of those 6 randomly chosen holes are tossed out. Now the 12 holes that remain on their scorecard are added up and that is the score. The lowest score wins.
Basically you give control on how well you are evaluated per each stroke up to sheer chance. Make sure you focus on each hole and hey you never know, you might beat out your buddies and come in with the best score when their holes get tossed. Doesn’t that add mystery and excitement to the game Ethan?? Doesn’t it?
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A Golf Slice Cured
March 7, 2008
I have a golf slice but I really want to get better and improve this as much as possible. Do you think this is something that I can work out on my own? - Quinn in Rapid City, SD
A golf slice requires a lot of hard work to improve and if you really are interested in making this cure stick then lets get into the meat of how and why this happens and go from there. I want to pick this apart so you can gain a much clearer understanding of what you need to improve your stroke. Now, to make it perfectly clear, this advice is for righties so you need to reverse this if you are lefty.
If you hit a golf slice to the right, it means that it’s curving in a left-right motion across the horizon and if the ball doing this, it is spinning in a clockwise direction. Right now, imagine that your ball is sitting on a peg. To spin the ball clockwise, the club has to swing more to the left with the clubface pointing slightly to the right. In a golf slice, hitting the ball with an open clubface makes the ball curve across the sky as a slice. So tell me, my virgin friend, how’s your grip in golf?
Consider this. Your grip has little to do with the direction of the swing but has absolutely everything to do with where the clubface is looking upon impact with the golf ball such as being in the opened, closed or square position. Everyone has their own unique way of holding a golf club. To keep this simple, if your hands are turned too far to the left on the club, this will more likely than not return with the face of the club looking to the right at impact.
Something else to keep in mind while preparing to swing is having a correct golf stance. In the course of playing you find yourself hitting a golf slice far to the left, you may find yourself compensating by adjusting your swing over to the right. However, in doing this basically you are not addressing the root of the problem and creating another one from the opposite direction. What do you do to fix this then?
Lay your club on the ground and make sure that it is parallel with your target line so you can check your aim. Make positive that your aim is not too far over to the left and keep in mind the alignment between your feet, knees, hips and shoulders are parallel to the club on the ground and with your target line.
By checking your stance you can determine what is really going on with your swing. Let the ball be your guide. Are you seeing it curving less over to the right? If so then you are getting close and if its curving over to the left or flying straight, then you are starting to make some headway.
Now if you are one of those rare hard to find, self-motivated go getters, then it is definitely possible that with practice and A LOT of hard work you will see an improvement in your score, not to mention your overall enjoyment of the game.
Get out there and experience for yourself if this works go over to all your buddies and tell them how the Golf Virgin helped improve your game. You never know until you try.
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Golf Penalty Stroke
February 29, 2008
Golf Virgin, is it considered to be a golf penalty stroke if I accidently bump the ball off of the tee? - Shane in Helena, MT
Do you have shaky hands? Are you worried that you will have to take a golf penalty stroke over and over and over again? Do you find that your balls fall off the tee all on their own and you wonder if you’re racking up penalty strokes left and right? I pity you. I truly do. Honestly Shane, there is really nothing to worry about.
If you are about to address the ball and have not actually made the attempt to swing… but due to a shaky grip bump the ball off the tee. Then no, it would not be counted as a penalty. You see, a penalty stroke in golf would only apply in this situation if you were about to take a mighty swing and did, yet there was no crack of the club head hitting the ball and definitely no golf ball shooting through the sky.
You look down and see to your dismay and your buddies amusement that the ball is still sitting there on the tee, completely untouched. If that happened, which I know that at one point all of us as golf virgins have experienced this embarrassing moment. Then yes you would deserve a golf penalty stroke and rightfully so. This is because you have made the intent to hit the ball, taken a stroke and even though you did not hit the ball, the ball is now in play.
However, this is where it becomes sticky for all the virgins out there. Another variation could be that after you have made that awe-inspiring swing which did nothing, the ball is still considered to be in play and you have 1 penatly stroke against you. If while making a second attempt to hit the ball you accidently bump the ball off of the tee, guess what? Go ahead and count another golf penalty stroke against you for touching a ball that is in play with your club.
Shane, see what happens when you touch balls with your equipment at inappropiate times? You have to take a golf penalty stroke. The best advice I can give you is to relax and focus… relax and focus.
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The Absolute Best Way to Clean Your Golf Clubs
February 22, 2008
Howdy there Golf Virgin!! I went out this past weekend and played a great 18 holes and loved it but my shafts got pretty dirty and I need to know the best way to clean golf clubs. Could you tell me? - Adam in Dallas, TX
Howdy huh? So you had a lot of fun, got your shafts all dirty and now you need to know the best way to clean golf clubs? I have to pat you on the back for getting out there on the green and not being afraid to get messy. I bet you took as many strokes necessary to satisfy your desire for putting things in places where they never been before. And you know what? For your bravery I’m going to tell you exactly how to clean your golf clubs.
For starters, you will need a plastic bucket, mild dishwashing liquid, toothbrush and a reasonably clean towel for drying.
Squirt… a little dishwashing liquid into the bottom and add some warm water to get it all the suds going. But make sure the water is warm. Not too hot now because hot water can loosen the ferrule on the clubs. The ferrule is the plastic cover over the point where the shaft enters the club head. Since you’re reading this go ahead and see if you can imagine what that looks like.
Anyways, you need just enough water in the bucket to cover the heads of the irons. Place your irons into the bucket with the club heads submerged and keep the ferrules above the level of the soapy water. Now, allow your irons to soak in the warm water for only a couple minutes. This will loosen the dirt that got worked into the grooves of the clubface from all your careless fun.
After they have finished soaking, take each club and use the toothbrush to clean out the grooves on the clubface and gently drag the brush across the sole of the iron and over the back of the club head. Keep in mind that this is the most important step in how to clean your golf clubs because it removes all the dirt and other chemicals from the golf course that can eat away the finish.
However, if you’ve allowed dirt to build up in the grooves and harden over time, you may need to allow them to soak longer and use a stiff-bristled brush. But remember, never use a wire-bristled brush for cleaning your clubs. Rinse off the club head and when you’ve washed the suds away, take a look at it to make sure all the dirt is gone from the grooves. You might find yourself enjoying the process of making your clubs like new again. But don’t get carried away with all that cleaning action, you could scratch your shaft.
Use your towel to dry off the club head and drag the towel up and down the length of the shaft. I’m pretty sure that you’re very familiar with this part, aren’t you? After you’re done, make positive that your shafts are nice and dry, thus ensuring that they don’t go back into your bag wet. Also, never submerge persimmon woods in water. To be direct, it’s never a good idea to submerge your woods in any sort of liquid. Because this will ruin the nice, glossy finish, of course.
Instead, quickly dip your woods into the sudsy water, using your shaft cleaning skills to rub it with a moist cloth and then dry them immediately. Now take a step back… and look at how clean, shiny and almost virgin like all of your shafts are… Wow, almost makes you want to say howdy doesn’t it?
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Can I get Hurt Playing Golf?
February 19, 2008
Golf Virgin, I’ve heard of people getting hurt while playing a game of golf such as tearing up their back during a golf swing or even getting struck by lightning, should I really be concerned about this? - Deb in Kirkland, WA
Now that is a heck of a question, let’s start by saying that if anyone gets struck by lightning while playing golf… Woe unto them, I would call it either a freak accident or the law of karma. As far as you tearing up your back. Unless you have no kinesthetic ability whatsoever to make one unified whole movement with your entire body then yes, you just might be sore after your first time.
Hey being a virgin hurts doesn’t it? But don’t let this take away from all the joy and pleasure that a great game of golf can bring. Basically, it’s all in that fabled golf swing. You have to learn to relax and not force it. If your hips truly aren’t open then yea you could even injure yourself getting out of bed in the morning.
Look, if you just relax and gently take practice strokes while gradually working your way into it, your golf swing will improve substantially and you will not have to worry much at all about hurting yourself. Now remember this, on that day when you see a storm quickly moving in and that lone straggler is out there trying to make that one last hole… take a deep breath, smile and watch the fireworks.
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